Brief Update

I haven't written on this blog in ages. Let's just say that life got tough and I had to make some choices. That horrible situation with my job . . . I had planned to quit, then another job came along that I thought was going to be much better . . . but honestly I'm not happy with that either. At least I'm not in the abusive situation I was in before! Honestly, I would just love to move to a smaller, accepting community of Wiccans, Pagans, Tree-huggers, hippies or anything and get out of this rat race of consumerism and commercialism.

On a brighter note, I tried knitting a Pentacle Dishcloth. I found the pattern on a website by accident: Pentacle Cloth by Veronica. Her's looks quite nice in purple. I thought I should do it in wool, so I found some grey wool but it didn't turn out as nicely as hers. In face, it's hard to see the patten at all. Kind of a shame when you put all that work into it. I might try it again in another colour.

Trapped--Magickal Advice Wanted

I haven't written lately becuase I've been in a very difficult situation and I really feel trapped. I feel that I have a lot of talents and ideas and I like to express them in my job. I don't like to talk too much about my work on here but I will tell you that I work in education. Sometimes my job can be wonderful and usually there are challenges but I can handle them. I've hit a point where I feel I can't handle it anymore. I've been placed in a very difficult situation and I know that I can't stay in this position . . . but resigning would be a very big deal! I don't like the feeling of being trapped. I don't like the feeling that everyday I'm going into work and not knowing what to expect . . . other than I'm going to be yelled at . . . and I'm going to have to yell and get angry as the only means to keep discipline (long story but I never work this way normally). This is a systemic problem . . . all the systems are failing to help anyone in this situation and I'm on the bottom rung trying to keep things together. It's not working and I didn't cause it.

Even my dreams are sending me weird messages. I had a dream that a group of people were going to blow up a room in a school (not my workplace). I was told to get out but then I remembered I left my bag in that classroom where the bombs were directed. I went back in and saw other people still in the building. I left and wondered whether I should warn the police (not sure why I had to think of that). When I came out and saw the bomb people again, who were getting ready, I noticed my spouse was with them. I yelled at him sternly and told him that he had to leave with me now or never come home again. Disturbing, eh? I figure this has something to do with my work situation.

There may be one way out though. Today I saw a job posting in my "company" where I could move up to a higher position and still keep my status without resigning. I started writing a cover letter and I have a CV already put together. I REALLY want this job and I'm qualified . . . but other more qualified people might apply.

To supplement my work to get this job I want to use some positive magick that will get me noticed in a positive way. Any suggestions??? I know there must be people out there in the blog world that can give advice on magick. Even if it was just ideas to create my own ritual. Thank you :)

Protection of the Green Tara Goddess

I haven't written lately because I've come up against a very difficult situation at work. My work takes quite a central place in my life because of the nature of my job. I wish it didn't but even when I'm not there it takes up a lot of my mind space. I work in the public sector and my actions affect other people's lives, so it's hard to escape it. Lately I've been working with a very difficult group of people . . . and I'm in situations where I'm yelled at in a foreign language for long periods of time. It's one of those situations where you try all the different strategies that you learn but nothing works. The only positive response I've gotten is when I yell back which I hate to do. I find that I'm spending hours of my day dwelling on it or complaining to someone else about it. I know my mind is in a bad place but I have trouble stopping myself from repeating scenarios in my head.

I'm not sure how I fell into it because I did fall into it . . . but I started calling on the Green Tara Goddess for protection. I must admit that even though I'm a Wiccan, I'm open to a lot of variations in my faith and I believe that the Goddess/God can manifest itself in so many ways . . . most of my worship and devotion has been around Mary, who I perceive as the Goddess. I do this partly beacause I grew up Catholic and that is what I was most familiar and comfortable with. I've spent time calling on Kwan Yin a bit but I've found new solace with the Green Tara. She offers me something quite different! There's something very comforting about her and I believe she is helping me a great deal in this horrible situation at work. She is the Goddess that can protect against unfortunate circumstances . . . that's what I'm in!! I've been chanting her mantra and I've put a statue of her at the centre of my altar.


OM TARE TUTTARE TURE SOHA!
Blessed Be Great Green Tara Goddess!